Dear Mom... You didn't know
You didn't know that the weight of accomplishing it all would be crushing.
You didn't know, the desire to feel like you have it all perfectly balance would be unattainable.
You didn't know, that friends may change, because you may change.
You didn't know, that mixing parenthood and marriage would be imperfect and messy.
You didn't, know that some days you'll look in the mirror and not recognize yourself with the bags under your eyes and stretch marks in places so visible you're sure people are judging you.
You didn't know that raising a tiny human in such a public world would be so hard to navigate.
You didn't know that some nights you'll sit in bed and wonder if your doing this thing right.
You didn't know that you'll start to forget who "babe" is and sometimes get lost in being "mom"
You didn't know that the bar you've raised so high for yourself was never meant to be reached. Not because you can't kill it in motherhood, but because your asking too much of yourself. Because you're ALREADY killing it.
You didn't know that 1 out of 7 of us will all feel some sort of postpartum depression for a year or longer after having a baby.
You didn't know that anxiety, depression, PTSD, and panic disorders are twice as more likely to be occurring in us as they are in men.
You didn't know that crying in your closet wouldn't be about not having the right outfit to wear for a night out, it will be because you feel like your failing, you have nothing left to give and you just might not be able to muster up enough energy to deal with the latest tantrum.
We're crying too.
You didn't know that you are not the only one who feels all these weighty feelings.
You didn't know that most of us struggle to turn our mom modes off at the end of the night and turn into wife.
You didn't know that meanwhile you're crying in the closet, we are seeking shelter and crying it out too.
You didn't know that most of the time you'll feel like your failing, like your alone, like your the only one feeling this way....but mom, we feel it too.