Boss Mom Retreat Afterthoughts
I am an introverted extrovert. Or at least that's what I am calling myself. lol.
Which means that an event like this, where I know absolutely no one...is my worst nightmare. But it also sounds really fun!
I am notoriously known for seeming very reserved. But I honestly get fired up being around so many people. Especially motivated boss moms. But I don't open up until I get to know someone. Which often puts me at a disadvantage, because you know, you kinda have to go out there and introduce yourself to people to get to know people. Tricky how that works! hah!
On top of that if you've read any of my things or seen my posts you know, we recently experienced the loss of our pregnancy. And I can't tell you how guilty I felt for going on a trip just three weeks later. I was so afraid of what people would think. How could I be functioning? How could I have fun? Like I didn't deserve to experience any of those things because I should be sad. And I was. But mom guilt told me I was an awful person. But my heart told me I needed this.
And it was hard. I hate traveling alone. I hate sleeping alone. And I hate awkward small talk. I'll do it, but I hate it. And I was afraid to be traveling all alone with all my feelings.
What I found was that it was awkward. There were times I felt out of place. Disconnected and black sheepish.
There were times where I felt in the right place. Connected and in the right place at the right time.
And I also wasn't the only woman in the room who had experienced a loss. I wasn't the only one who cried. I wasn't the only one who felt awkward. I wasn't the only one DIY-ing her business. And I wasn't the only one who stepped our of her comfort zone to meet people. Or throw out the lifeline conversation starters..."so this weather...".
I didn't find a soulmate, braid each other's hair, or drink mimosas while gushing over each other's kids and exchanging numbers. But I did get home and have lifelong connections and building relationships with a lot of awesome women who understand my dreams, my business and my struggles as a mother, a wife and a woman.
I have scheduled calls with these women. Podcast interviews with these women. Facebook messages with these women. And what I would consider now, friendships with these women. A bond through Boss Mom. Which sounds so cheesy, but oh my gosh it's a thing!
I went with less. And I came home with so much more.
And next Boss Mom's Retreat I'll feel more at home with these women.
Because sometimes all it takes is stepping outside of your comfort zone, putting yourself out there, accepting that it will be awkward at first but the reward of connections to come will be oh so worth it.
Also note that Dana, was generous with the drink tickets...and that may have helped....